breakfast first

You know what? Screw that.

I've been thinking a lot about my attitude towards this situation, and how it was reflected in my last post. I've been very depressed about things and focusing on the negative. Now I say, Screw that.

At the risk of sounding like my head is getting soft from the California sun, I'm going to think nothing but positive thoughts about Miles' recovery. I'm going to focus on telling him that he needs to recover. That he can and will get better. If you've met Miles, you know what a strong cat he is; if anyone can do it, he can. I'll concentrate on future images of him back at home with us. I'll picture it and I'll believe it, and I'll make sure Miles knows I believe it.

I need you to help out, too. If you don't know Miles, take a good look at some of the photos below. Then, when you have a spare moment, picture Miles and send him some positive thoughts, whatever you want. Say a little prayer, tell him he's doing great, whatever works for you. Do it when you're brushing your teeth. Do it when you're stuck in traffic or waiting in line or riding in an elevator. As they say, vote early and vote often.

And pass it on. Link back to this post. Tell your neighbors. If you live in California, people won't even flinch if you tell them they need to send psychic energy to some guy's sick cat. They'll dig it.

Have I lost it? Am I in denial? I don't know. All I know is that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make my cat healthy again. If acting crazy is part of it, then I'm there.

Thanks everyone.

Can we just get some good news? Please?

Another exhausting, emotional day. Jennifer got up around 3:00am (we went to bed at midnight) after tossing and turning from thinking about Miles. I pretended to myself that I could get some sleep until 6:30 or so. Then we just killed time while we waited for the SFVS to open at 9:00.

Right at 9:00, Jennifer called and got everything squared away: they could see Miles this morning. So we rushed over to the SPCA hospital, got Miles released, grabbed his x-rays and charts, and walked the three blocks to the SFVS.

I had never been to the SFVS before -- in fact, I hadn't even heard of it before yesterday. It's a very nice facility, and the staff and doctors were friendly and helpful. We took Miles into an examination room where a technician measured his pulse and weight. He was scared, but we were happy to see that he was a lot more alert and curious than when we saw him yesterday. His coat looked somewhat dull, though, and even a little thin in places. As you can see from the photos, he had a colorful bandage on where his IV was. He didn't like the bandage at all and would try to shake it off, staring at it in disbelief when it failed to come off. It was cute and sad at the same time.

After a few minutes, Dr. Maretzki (who we've heard is excellent) came in to check Miles out. He'd already spoken with Dr. Gebhard, but we went over the whole story again, starting from Wednesday night when he got sick, while he took notes. Then he examined Miles, which was when we noticed that Miles' belly was shaved. Makes sense -- how else could they do an ultasound? -- but it was sad to see him without his "vest" (that's what they call the double row of spots on a tabby's underside).

After examining Miles, the doctor put the x-rays up for us to look at. The problem with making a diagnosis, he told us, is the mix of things they're seeing. On one hand, his problems are acute (sudden onset) and came out of nowhere. On the other hand, the x-rays indicated possible problems in his colon, lungs, and maybe even his heart, making it look more systemic. The upshot was that he wanted to run a lot more tests, and we laid out a plan for these tests, starting with the least invasive. So he took Miles away and we walked all the way home, as sad as ever.

Around 2:30 I heard from Dr. Maretzki, and he gave me the initial results. The additional x-rays and another ultrasound revealed that he has fluid in his chest and abdomen, and that his colon wall is indeed "corrugated". The fluid is inflammatory and contains white blood cells, but he didn't know if it indicated cancer -- they will have to send it out to an outside lab to determine that. They're also going to run another full blood panel.

The other test that they're going to run, which also has to be done by an outside lab, is an FIP test. Although he tested negative when he was a kitten, it's still a possibility, and his symptoms are consistent. The thought of FIP has me scared out of my wits, as it's essentially untreatable and fatal. I can't allow myself to think about that outcome, and yet it seems that that's all I can think about. It's just that none of this makes any sense to me...this is a cat who on Wednesday morning was chasing his pal through the apartment and jumping on top of bookselves and generally being his amazing, adorable cat self. How could a harsh, fatal disease be coursing through his body and never show any signs, until it went off like a lightswitch? He's never appeared even slightly ill a single day of his life. So...how? How?

There won't be any more information coming tonight, aside from a check-in call from a vet tech who will call around 11. Perhaps we'll hear the results of the fluid analysis tomorrow. I just want to hear that FIP has been ruled out. Please.

Another awful night ahead.

More about Miles

Another gutwrenching day. We didn't hear anything from the SPCA hospital until after noon. But when we did hear, it was from Dr. Gephardt, who was extremely helpful and patient. There was a lot of back-and-forth throughout the afternoon as the doctor and her colleagues tried to narrow down Miles' problem. They took several x-rays, and thought it might be pancreatitis (very frightening). Then they did an ultrasound, and the diagnosis shifted to colitis or IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease).

We were pretty distraught, but fortunately Dr. Gephardt said we could come over and visit Miles. (Just to complicate matters, Jennifer was in jury selection this week, and this morning she got called to a court room where she was told they would likely reconvene on Monday. Since we're supposed to be out of town next Thursday and Friday, she filed hardship paperwork and will have to show up for jury duty again in October.) Jennifer got home, and we headed over. Dr. Gephardt met us in an examination room where she thoroughly and patiently went over the x-rays and the process of diagnosis Miles, which was helpful. She explained that right before we got there, the doctors were going over the ultrasound, where they discovered that Miles' colon wall are about three times as thick as they should be, for some unknown reason (although it doesn't appear to be cancer, fortunately).

Then she took us into the room where Miles was being held. (It was kind of an examination room with a grid of cages against one wall.) Poor little Miles was in one of the cages with an IV in his paw. He was completely wiped out and just faced the back wall of the cage for almost the whole time we were there. We took turns petting him and talking to him, but he didn't really acknowledge us. At some point when I was petting him and had my head up close to his and was talking to him, he slowly turned his head towards me for the first time and gave me a deep and powerfully sad look that just broke my heart. It kills me to see this proud animal so hurt and confused.

After we got home, the doctor called again. After more consultation, the doctors thought it might be wise to get Miles over to the San Francisco Veterinary Specialists, who are just a few blocks away from the SPCA. Hopefully their internists will be able to better pinpoint Miles' problem and come up with an effective treatment. However, the SFVS doesn't really have any open appoints, so we have to call in the morning and try to rely on the strong word of our vet to get us an appointment. If he gets in, they'll do a colonoscopy and maybe a biopsy.

So now we're just sitting around, trying to keep our minds preoccupied and failing miserably. I just keep flashing back to Miles straining to turn his head to look at me. It's all-consuming. I've raised him since he was four weeks old and it would be impossible for me to love him even one bit more.

Meanwhile, Owen (pictured) just misses his pal.

Miles is sick

Our little Miles (who's about 6 times larger now than he was in that photo) suddenly became very sick last night for reasons we can't determine. I saw him vomit last night (very unusual) around 8:30, after which he went into hiding under the bed. During the night he vomitted again. In the morning I discovered that he had frequent diarrhea, but the, uh, discharge was a completely clear but fairly viscous fluid. He was also very lethargic, barely acknowledging us when we would pet him -- quite a difference from his normal rambunctious but lovable demeanor.

This didn't seem good, so I decided to stay home from work today and rush him over to the SFSPCA hospital. The ER doctor took a look at him and asked us a bunch of questions to help determine what might have happened, but no luck. She was pretty worried about him and wasn't sure what his symptoms (including a fever) were indicating, so she decided it would be best to keep him in the hospital overnight and run some tests. It was pretty heartwrenching to leave the little guy there alone when he's so obviously miserable.

I just got a call from the hospital on Miles' condition. He's on an IV and antibiotics and hasn't vomitted again. If he does, they're going to x-ray him. We're supposed to call back at 10am tomorrow to see how he's doing. I think it's safe to say that I'm not going to get too much sleep tonight.

Saving the Big Cats

Walking past the newsstand today, I noticed that the cover story of Time is Saving the Big Cats. Looking at the online version of Time, it looks like they have a few articles on the topic. There's the main article, "Nowhere to Roam" (full text for subscription only), about the never-ending encroachment of humanity on cats' territory; "Out of the Wild", about the weird and dangerous practice of trying to make pets out of wildcats; and "Cats Up Close", eight photos (with stats) about cats.

These articles are very timely, given the spate of mountain lion problems in California. (Several mountain lions have been spotted in urban areas this summer, such as Palo Alto, where I work. One was shot and killed while it rested in a tree, where it had fled from a dog. Officers felt is was safer to shoot the animal than to tranquilize it, as a nearby grade school was about to let out.) I haven't read the main article in Time (I'll do so at the library), but I hope it discusses the ethical issues of human/animal co-habitation. What obligations do we have to the animals whose territory we take away?

The photos in "Cats Up Close" are good, although I think Time is being a bit loose in their interpretation of the term "big cats". Typically that term only refers to genus Panthera, the roaring cats (lions, tigers, and leopards). In these photos, Time includes the cheetah (Genus acinonyx), and the Iberian lynx, a small cat (Genus felis, same as your housecat). I'm just nit-picking; those cats have the same struggle as the big cats, and the more exposure they get, the better.

The more interesting thing I saw in that issue came from "Out of the Wild", where the article stated that "Only 20 states ban private ownership of big cats outright." In other words, it's legal to have a tiger as a pet in 30 status. That's crazy.

Nature is pretty amazing

I recently learned that one of the functions of grooming for cats is vitamin intake: sunlight on a cat's coat produces vitamin D which the cat then ingests when grooming. This is one of the reasons that cats clean themselves more frequently when they're in the sun.

Who knew?

More about Lucky, the tortured rabbit

Interesting opinion piece on the story of Lucky:

But [the rabbit's] story tells more about our society than the fact that we are rapidly becoming a throwaway culture, in which dogs, cats, rabbits and other animals are tossed away like an old sofa when their usefulness has diminished. It also should serve as a warning to the friends and family of people who so easily can turn on -- and inflict cruelty upon -- a family pet.

Humane educators, crime-prevention organizations and psychologists have for years known of the connection between the abuse of animals and violence toward humans. Cases of serial killers who started out their careers torturing animals have been well documented, and we see this especially among young killers, such as Columbine High shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold and other teen killers (Kip Kinkel, Andrew Golden, Luke Woodham and Michael Carneal). All of these boys tortured and mutilated animals before turning their guns on their classmates and teachers.

Abuse Database

And by the way, in case you think the type of animal abuse in the previous post is a rare occurrence, check out pet-abuse.com. I discovered this site, which tracks abuse around the country, a couple a years ago while searching for more information about a case where people burned a kitten alive on a grill. Truly horrific.

If you check out the "About" page for that site, you'll read about how Alison Gianotto started it after her cat was kidnapped and set on fire back in 2001 (although the suspect also kidnaps cats, freezes them, and cuts their ears off). Fortunately, though, Ms Gianotto was strong enough to create some good from that awful, awful experience.

Sick, stupid people

Today's lesson in animal cruelty comes courtesy of 18- and 20-year-old punks -- lifeguards, supposedly -- who decided to strap an M-1000 to the pet rabbit of one of the punks, light the fuse, and, I kid you not, throw the rabbit into a lake. Oh, and they took pictures for their blog. Fortunately the explosive didn't go off, and one of them fished the drowning rabbit out of the lake (debating, meanwhile, whether or not to try again). The apparent motive is that the rabbit's owner is heading to UCSB in the fall and wouldn't be able to take care of the animal anymore. So rather than, you know, give it to a shelter, or even let it loose in the wild, they decide to blow it up. My favorite part is that one of the perpetrators says: "I think that a lot of people are judging us without knowing us at all. It's really bothering me." Oh, really. Guess what's really bothering me? People who try to violently kill defenseless, trusting animals, that's what.